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seaside heights

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Jersey Shore. Snookie-Free.

Midway Beach

A little over a month ago, I made the journey out to Seaside Heights, NJ. (I know, I know, I’m a little late writing this.) Our vacation crew consisted of me, the girlfriend Sammy, her sister Alexis (Lexi), and her boyfriend Marc. We packed everything the night before and we were on the road around 5:30am on Saturday, August 7, 2010. I was up pretty late the night before running all over Dayton to get some cologne (Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue, amazing), some ratchet-straps to hold a suitcase on top of the Blazer, and a gift certificate from Britton at Blue Byrd Tattoo for Sammy’s birthday. Last year, the Jersey Shore vacation landed on my birthday (August 2), and this year it landed on her’s (August 8). On a side note, we are both Leo’s, and we have a kitten that we cleverly named Leo.

Anyways, 10-11 hours later, and several gas, food, and piss stops, we were finally heading over the huge bridge from Tom’s River, NJ into Seaside Park! We go a mile or two south and stay in these super small beach houses in Seaside Park. Again, these houses are crazy small and cost a lot for a week. But when you think about it, you are splitting it between several people, and it literally takes you maybe 60 seconds to run from your house and touch the ocean. It’s amazing and I look forward to it every year. Last year was the first time I’d ever been to New Jersey and I have to admit, I was skeptical. I thought everything and everyone was just covered in trash and smelled like hydrogen sulfide or something. I was completely wrong. Although, there are a lot of people that are very similar to the cast of The Jersey Shore. And both years, we actually seen the film crews out on the Boardwalk filming for the show. Last year we seen the cast walking around, but no one really knew who they were. Now there are carnival-style games and even food dishes named after these people. I mean who is trying to eat a sandwich called The Snookie?? That right there is what I call a Situation, that they need to get under control.

Throughout the week, there were many late nights of drinking, actually that was after the long days of drinking. Just laying out on the beach or under an umbrella reading a magazine, listening to music, with a cold beverage in your hand, and a few close friends nearby, nothing comes close to how relaxing that is. The white sand and blue ocean… I could live there forever. I mean how cool is it to say you are going to a place called Seaside Heights, and how horrible is it to leave and know you are going home to a place called Ohio? It’s bad.

This year we stayed at 29 3rd Lane at Midway Beach. It’s a private beach and you have to pay for a week pass to go there, but it’s better that way. Down by the boardwalk is where anyone and everyone goes since it’s free. That’s not relaxing. Saturday was an unpacking day and Nicole and Drew came down (Sammy & Lexi’s cousin and her boyfriend) to join in our welcoming party. They only live an hour or two north, so they get to go there all the time. Ahhh… how nice would that be. And we were all up at midnight to say Happy Birthday to Sammy and I gave her the gifts I brought. But I think we were all tired from the long drive, so we didn’t stay up too late. Sunday was the birthday girl’s day at the beach and then we hit up The El Camino mexican restaurant. Last year it was called The Red Cadillac. Call it what you want, but this place is amazing and it’s BYOB, just like almost every place out there. Cool idea, but it could probably get you in trouble a lot easier/cheaper. Still a bit tired from the long weekend, we went to bed relatively early after watching some tv/movies.

Monday and Tuesday were mostly spent at the beach, cooking out on the grill, relaxing, walking around, etc… Marc and I aren’t hardcore tanners, and I think we burn pretty easy, so we were at the house too, keeping out of the devil hot sun. Burned skin is no joke and is an easy way to ruin a vacation. Wednesday was also spent in the sand and water, but at night, we took a cab down to the Boardwalk. We had several drinks at many different bars, ate some of the largest pizza slices you will ever see, played a bunch of games, and had hoped to see the weekly fireworks, but I guess it was too windy. This was also a night, one of many, that I later realized I’m a bad drunk. I drink too much of too many different kinds of alcohol, I play drinking games, I take beer bongs, etc… All of this ends of very badly for me and usually the people around me. I’ve slowly been learning what my limit is, and also realizing I’m not 21 anymore. Who knew? Anyways, I screwed up the cab ride home and we ended up walking a few miles back. I always asked why we don’t just walk there, so we don’t have to worry about driving or paying for a cab, now I know. Man that is a far ass walk at 2am. I will say, the houses on Ocean Avenue are ridiculous. I can’t even describe some of these places. And the funny thing is, these multi-multi-multi-million dollar houses are probably just these people’s spare house for a summer or something like that. Unreal the way some people have money.

Back on track, Thursday was really the last day at the beach, at least for me. Friday was mainly a stay in day and get ready for the night’s festivities. We drove to the bus station in Tom’s River and took a huge bus down to Atlantic City. I’ve never been there, but as an avid gambler, I’ve always wanted to go. It’s like a small Las Vegas, but in the casino’s, you’d never know you weren’t in Vegas. We started out at Caesar’s. Marc and I are the gamblers, and the girls were the newbies trying out the slots. I won a little under $200 in poker in a hour or so, and was ready to walk away. I waited with the girls while they played some slots. I won $50 on my first slot pull. So I’m up money and ready for dinner! We ate at a chicken place in a Wild West casino. Then we headed to Bally’s so I could lose my winnings at slots and roulette. I vowed to never play those types of games again. Only poker, and maybe blackjack for the rest of my gambling career. We were there for roughly 6 hours and couldn’t wait to get home. The long bus ride back to the car and then back to the house, man I was drained.

Saturday we packed everything up and headed up to their aunt’s house for the night. They have a very nice and big house. After some talking and catching up, we headed over to their cousin Danny’s house right around the corner. Him and his wife Kelly just had a baby recently so everyone was eager to see them. We also checked out there amazing house which was basically completely renovated. I still want their kitchen and basement. Sooner than later, he showed us where the kegerator was hooked up at. The drinks were flowing, and us 3 guys, along with a neighbor guy, played horseshoes and some hillbilly golf. Just a nice night to relax, have some drinks, and some friendly competition. But this night took a turn for the worse when I think I can drink 371268 beers. The drinking games started and the shots came out. Let’s just say, I never want to drink that honey jager stuff ever again. Sunday came so soon and we were on the road back to good old Ohio. Another long road trip…

I couldn’t wait to be back home and in bed. We stopped at her parent’s house to drop off our co-pilots and pick up our kitten. He seemed weird at first, but once we got him home, he was the same old cat. I think he loves us, maybe just cuz we feed him seafood flavored cat food and we have tons of receipts all over the house he uses as toys. In closing, I can’t wait for the 2011 Jersey Shore trip. I can’t imagine not going there at least once a year for the rest of my life. Seriously. I had no idea this New Jersey family would suck me in and make me a believer. Until next summer, no grenades! GFF!

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